16 de nov. de 2010

rain dance, moon sonet

I miss those afternoons. I mean, me dancing in the rain and you watching from your window. I miss the scent of the earth, slipping through my fingers. Those summer afternoons… those dry Septembers and rainny Octobers. If at least you knew how much I miss you… how you've been a part of me for so long... You've been my refuge, my exit. You know I’ve tried to call you? I did, twice. It was the New Year; I could barely stand on my feet with all those nightmares taking place around me. I thought I could have the guts to reach out for you. And, yes, I was supposed to have everyone there. But you know what? I’m turned off. I’m disconnected. I’ve been dropping threads and I left them behind. It’s like I can’t take anymore of this. I’m through with fake, through with half-trues, true with people disappointing me. If at least people knew… As I said, you didn’t pick up the phone; twice. So, I guess it is destiny. I moved on years ago, though, I still believe that my future will be rescued from my past. I don’t believe in true things falling from the sky. I know you’re back there somewhere, in some corner, stuck in some moment of ours. You could be anyone I’ve met before. Please, destiny, don’t be ironic. I couldn’t keep my pride if I someone stepped into my life right know and I accepted him with arms wide open. That’s not me, and so many other things aren’t me… Why haven’t I learnt how to deal with this? Why can’t I live in peace with my own mistakes? Why do I keep punishing myself for each and every wrong step I’ve taken? I could never get along through an incorrect road with my conscience. Let me pretend that if I try to reach out for you, you’re still there… Just let me dance in the rain, repeating to myself ‘cause I’m still in love with you… on this harvest moon’.

 1 Fevereiro 2010

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